I Can’t Get Enough Moments

Our family was deeply effected by a recently tragedy in our community. A family of 5 was found dead in the desert of Arizona. Apparently a murder-suicide.

Two of the 3 children were in marching band and the other various band programs with Jess. Joey had recently begun rehearsing and attending parties with the marching band percussion section, of which the son who died was a member.

The community and the school has done a tremendous job of providing support to the students and families who are suffering this loss. The band program and band families in particular have gone out of their way to ensure the kids have a healthy environment in which to mourn their loss and simply feel normal.

One such event transpired on a warm Thursday night. It started as an idea the percussion students had and grew into an invitation for all current and past band members. A number of parents purchased 100 white helium balloons. The students and families gathered on the football field with the balloons and Sharpies. Those who had something to say to their friend wrote a message on a balloon. The band directors said a few heart-felt words then everyone released their balloons silently together into the night sky.

After the balloons ascended out of sight, the drum line played the favorite cadence of their missing member. We all followed them off the field in respectful silence.

These past few weeks have been a heavy burden and blessing. As a parent, we want to protect our children from pain. But, we know, we MUST teach our children how to keep moving forward in the midst of pain and suffering. And, if we are really on the ball, we’ll teach our kids how to reach out to others to receive comfort and to give it.

The blessing for me has been the opportunity to talk to my kids about hard things: unexplainable things, what are normal feelings in the face of unexpected loss, how to help others…it’s also been an opportunity for each of us to realize that material things don’t bring happiness. (This was an upper-middle class family.) Peace and joy stem from relationships with people and the way we choose to look at things. It is a gift from God…as are my children.

Events like this are a startling reminder that I need to cherish every moment I have with my children. I don’t know how many moments I will have. I do know it never feels like enough.

Five Minute Friday: Beyond

I have to credit www.thegypsymama.com for the idea of Five Minute Fridays. As if I needed another reason to love Fridays. The rules are simple: Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. The prompt for today is: Beyond.

~ Let the egg timer begin ~

Beyond. Beyond divorce. Beyond the pain and fear. Life. New and free. The unknown was scary. But, beyond the end of the road, God stood, waiting for me when others walked away. They missed the miracle. He took my hand and led me beyond the broken and disappointed. He comforts me. He provides for me. He leads me. He loves me.

I stepped out in fear beyond a world I knew. Beyond the heavy burden. He took my burden, lifted my children, and led me to peace, joy, and forgiveness. God hates divorce. Yet he met me there at the end of the road and walked with me beyond my failures into his grace.

Breaking News!

When I was a kid, we got 3 channels on TV. If the TV was on at 5:00pm, the news was on. That was the only choice! In the morning before school: News. On sick days or over summer vacation, noon news broke up the daily soap operas.

My mom was a news fiend! You could hear the news in our house more than you could hear conversation.

How thrilled I was, as an adult, when I could afford cable TV! I could turn on the TV at any hour of the day or night and find something to watch BESIDES news. I have goosebumps just writing about it!!

Just as sitcoms have changed and become blatantly sexual and vulgar, the news has changed as well. As a kid, I would hear stories every once in a while about a horrible death, but there was NO shocking video. Today, our tiresome news media travels FAR and WIDE in search of the most disturbing stories possible.

I was listening to the radio the other day when they took 90 seconds of my drive time to break away from the relaxing music and “update me on important events going on around the world.” Then they proceeded to inform me that a man accidentally impaled himself on some large garden shears and lived to tell about it. They went into GRAPHIC detail describing which part of the tool went into which part of his body. It WASN’T a local story. It WASN’T about a hero who rescued him. It was simply to gross me out!! This was a few weeks ago and I’m still having dry heaves.

It shouldn’t surprise you to find out that our children are effected by these stories as well. I have a 10-year-old client who is desperately afraid to be alone in any room of her house. She is convinced that someone is going to break in.

Come to find out, her mom watches the news every morning and evening. This kid is being inundated by gross and terrifying stories of gloom. It’s no wonder she is afraid! She sees it so often, it seems like these things are happening all around her.

So, what to do if we want to be current-event-saavy? I’m sure you can provide ideas. Here are a few of mine…

1. Get your news in writing: Subscribe to the newspaper. Read the news headlines on Yahoo. Read your local newspaper on the internet. Login to CNN.com or NBC.com or any news.com.

2. Watch news videos online with your kids. This allows you to select the news items that are significant to you and your family and allows your kids to learn and be aware of important issues in a kid-friendly manner.

3. If you’re a glutton for punishment and NEED your fix of blood and guts that only television can provide, watch the news after the kids are ASLEEP. Not simply after they’re in bed, but after they’ve drifted off to a world full of cotton candy and puppies.  Besides the tantalizing freedom of watching shows OTHER THAN news, the plethora of channels available to us today allows us to watch news at any time of the day or night. Yeah for all you news junkies!

Let’s let the news in our children’s worlds be about the good things going on, or the interesting things. There are lots of good stories out there. How about stories about people pitching in to help the flood victims in Virginia? A school bans makeup and mirrors to combat vanity. This could make for good discussion.

It’s not all bad news out there! Let’s give our kids the good news!