Being a single parent, I have grown into the type of person who feels she has to do everything herself. After 13 years of being responsible for everything in my home, I just don’t automatically think, “Who can take care of this for me?” My knee-jerk reaction is, “How am I going to take care of this?”
So, when my son told me he doesn’t believe in God, I did my knee-jerk thing: How am I going to fix this? Then I piled onto that, “I screwed up! I’m sad! I’m betrayed! I’m scared!” But, I finally settled on, “This is not mine to fix.”
With the daily miracles God heaps on me, you would think my knee-jerk reaction would be to trust Him. The fact that I have food in my refrigerator, I am able to pay EVERY bill every month, I have 2 kind, respectful and healthy children, I have friends, an education, a job, a house, a family who cares about me, TWO working vehicles, and a healthy mind and body are miraculous to me. God provides and protects every day.
My faith and salvation don’t come from me or my parents or a pastor, friend, relative, or motivational speaker. It comes from God. He chose me.
Also, Jesus died for each of us. He wants to save us. I want my son saved. If I ask him to save my son, he will do it. My request is within his will. Our salvation is from above, not from around. Thank GOD!!!
I’m not even close to being a perfect parent. The statement from my son is more evidence of that. Thankfully God IS perfect. I just need to rely on him…I NEED to rely on him.
Although I act like I’m supposed to take care of everything myself, I can’t do it. This is just a reminder to me that everything I do is because God allows it. I need to stop acting like God and submit to him. Instead of saying, “How am I going to take care of this?” I need to start saying, “How do you want to use me, God?”
And one more thing, God….please allow my son to see you!!!!!